Thursday, April 10, 2014

leggings are not pants

I don't even know where to start with this topic, because I get so worked up every time I think about it.

Leggings are not pants.

Unless you are Robin Hood, Peg Bundy, or a regular on, leggings are not pants.  Unless you are at the gym, a Renaissance fair, or ballet practice, leggings are not pants. Unless you are in a hair metal band or at a "Full House"-themed costume party, no, leggings are still not pants.
Ryan agrees.
If leggings were pants, they would be called pants.

So, okay, you tried them on to make sure they weren't see-through…in the dim light of your bedroom. But girlfrannn, I can see your undies out here in the daylight.
Even a woman as hot as Sofia Vergara doesn't get a free pass on this one. [source]
At least she is wearing underwear, I guess. [source]
And no matter how thick those thigh-hugging glorified pajamas are, they never stay in the same place all day. You never know when you might be caught "toe"-ing the line (pun intended). Save it for your gynecologist. 
The only good thing Kanye ever did was put a stop to this. [source]
And I honestly never wanted to know how nice of a butt you have, but, uh, way to be confident? Although, the fact that your own bum hates your leggings so much that it is eating them is probably a sign...
Hunrgy booty needs a midday snack. [source]
If someone could just explain this to…actually no, you know what, don't. [source]
We all have those days where comfort trumps trendiness, and yes, I completely understand that leggings are "soooo comfortable" and perfect for running errands, or airplane travel, or going to class, or whatever-- but you probably look like a slob. Without much extra effort, leggings can be chic without compromising the innocence of the 4 year old boy in the cart behind you in line at the grocery store. A longer shirt or tunic can take your day-to-day comfy uniform from trashy to classy without skipping a beat. 
Yes, girl. Cover that camel toe! [source]
JessyDust gets it right five times over.
This is not difficult to achieve.
Leggings-wearing women of the world, I implore you to take a good hard look at yourself. Dressing for your body type, as well as for the occasion, are the two biggest style rules. It is difficult to think of an occasion that would applaud, or a body type that could withstand, the showcasing of every curve and crevasse, every cellulite crater, every wrinkle...
I leave you with the wise words of one of the best dressed women in the world:
Stop the madness.

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